Growing Through the Tears

I've always said everything happens for a reason. God has blessed my husband and I with these beautiful baby girls at the right time. Sometimes I feel like we should have waitied to have them. Then there are times I feel like I should be working to help carry the financial load my husband is currently carrying all on his own. I know that I will return to work I just don't know when. The reason I know this is because I need it for my mental health. I have remember this is just for a season and they will grow up faster than I realize. It is a beautiful to be able to have this time with them and watch them grow. However there are days when I am overwhelmed with this task of raising these beautiful babies and I just need a mental health break. So today was that day, as usual I got up when the babies got up. We said our morning prayers and they had their breakfast I quickly jumped in the shower for a good 20 minutes so I could finally wash my hair after two weeks it felt refreshing. Then all of a sudden the tears started to fall and they felt endless but also refreshing.

I thought those were all the tears I was going to cry today but I had YouTube playing and the song Way Maker by Paul McClure came on and I began to weep. I was crying out to God and this was all happening in front of my children, my 3 yr/o asked why I was crying, midway weeping I explained to her I was crying out to Jesus. She came and hugged me and said she wanted to cry out to Jesus too so now I have all three babies sitting on my lap and we all cried together. I am certain my 1 yr/o and 2 month/o had no clue what was happening but it was a beautiful moment. Allowing my children to see me in my brokenness. God never said this journey of parenthood would be easy but reminding me in all things he is a way maker and he never stops working for our good even when we don't see it he is working.

Knowing there are days when I would be less than energetic to play with them or to teach them, because I needed to rest but decided to watch television while the slept at night lol. I know there is no such thing as a perfect parent so I have learned to petition God in all I do that, raising our children the way he sees fit. Yes at the end of the day they are my children and my responsibility but ultimately the belong to him first and I want them to forfill their purpose he created them for not my own selfish hopes and dreams for their lives.

Learning to interceed for them to be sensitive to the Lord’s direction and for them to be passionate about serving Him regardless of their career path and relationships ought to be a priority for us. I leave you with this thought today. Let us be examples to our children of living confidently in the plan and purpose God has for us, paving the way for them to do the same. May we boldly and confidently express our faith to our children. So they may have full confidence in where their help comes from.