Being Mommy!

Having 3 years of parenting under my belt is an accomplishment and a blessing. Knowing I made it 3 years and they are still alive (no seriously) is amazing. Becoming a parent has been the hardest yet most rewarding thing in my life thus far. God has given you the task of guiding, guarding, comforting, nurturing, molding, loving, correcting and discipling His most precious gift. There are so many sacrifices you make when you become a parent many times you go without so your child(ren) can have.

Going through hardships shows them that you aren't perfect and you need help too. God is your source. Even when I am having a rough day I pray right in front of my children and often ask them to pray with me. Although they are both still babies and learning the concept of prayer they get to start to learn and begin their relationship with Christ for themselves. This isn't easy to say but as I mentioned in a previous post I am currently out of work. At first I was upset, and hurt mainly at myself because I had become use to being this "supermom" (that is not a real thing). I felt as if I had to juggle a full time career, serving on several ministries at church and being an amazing mother and wife. The enemy started to ease in a say "you aren't enough." I began to listen to the enemy and feel like what he was saying about me so much that I started to become depressed. In someways he was right. I was not enough but God showed me that I wasn't enough and I was never going to be enough be, because He is more than enough and I needed to rely on Him. Realizing that I had been in this position of being laid off before. A few years ago when we had our first little lady she was about 5 months old when I stopped working. It lasted only a few months and God provided in ways we couldn't have even imagined. I made it through the few short months of being a stay at home mom just fine by God's grace. Now fast forward to present day I have been laid off again from a company which I truly enjoyed working for and prayed I would be there for a long time but unfortunately the company was undergoing downsizing after loosing business client. I start having feelings of guilt leaving my husband to take on all of the financial burdens on his own with one household income has been weighing on me, having to make swift changes like pulling our kids from daycare which they loved but now we can't afford it, this was also weighing heavy on me. I knew searching for a job right away was not the answer because now we have two little ladies no longer in daycare and another little lady on the way in a few months. So stay at home mom it is until God says otherwise. Everything happens for a reason although it will be rough for awhile I trust and believe God will provide our needs.

Majority of the time (100% to be exact) I am a complete and utter mess but God allows my mess and flaws to be used to benefit His kingdom. I know I will be overwhelmed at times with 3 little ones under the age of 4 but God provide my needs and give me strength in the areas of my weakness. Leaning on Him at times when I want to give up, through bouts of self-pity and even depression God will see me through this season. Being a mommy is great, but being able to call on my heavenly Father is even greater!!